A Nightly Friend
by QueenTigris
Summary: A series of oneshots that revolve mainly around Gaara and Naruto and a loose, nonexistant time line. NEW CHAPTER: Pandachan makes a new friend and Gaara discovers a new hobby. Hints of NaruGaa, etc.
1. A Nightly Friend

** EDIT: **Why didn't anyone tell me I misspelled his name?? Agh! I feel like an idiot...

**A/N:** I actually wrote this with a fanfiction contest in mind, the rules of which dictate that the story must be appropriate and contain no yaoi or themes like that. Due to that, this story is rather short. Maybe I'll write a follow up... Maybe I won't. Enjoy.**  
**

**Disclaimer: **Don't own it

**A Nightly Friend**

Kankuro's ninja skills failed to hide his mirth, Temari smirked, and in an amazing display of emotion, Gaara's eyebrow twitched.

"What is that?" Sabaku no Gaara asked; he somewhat dreaded the answer.

"His name is Panda-chan!" The enthusiastic Uzumaki Naruto exclaimed. "I won him at one of the game stalls but he reminded me so much of you... that I think you should have him, Gaara!"

Gaara crossed his arms and stared at the black and white panda plushie Naruto was waving in his face. "How am I like a stuffed panda?" He wondered aloud; though he doubted Naruto's answer would make much sense.

Uzumaki's characteristic grin widened. "He's got a heart on his forehead!" Naruto pointed at the said marking.

A muscle in Gaara's cheek spasmed, and Kankuro and Temari burst out into uncontrolled laughter. Gaara had to close his eyes against the urge to crush Naruto's head with his sand. "Baka," he said quietly. "I don't want a panda plushie," Gaara said to Naruto, "you keep it."

Naruto's smile lessened. "You don't like Panda-chan?"

Gaara stared at him blankly.

Naruto sighed. "Poor Panda-chan," he said, patting the plushie as if it actually had feelings that could be hurt. "It's okay; I'll take care of you even if Gaara doesn't want you." Naruto's face lit up as a seemingly wonderful idea struck him. "I know! Let's eat Ramen together, Panda-chan!"

Sabaku no Gaara turned and walked away, feeling extremely perturbed that anyone could liken himself to a plushie. So much for his reputation.

That night, after a hearty meal of barbeque, the Konoha and Suna comrades had fallen asleep at their camp outside of town. Even Jiraiya-sama snored among his subordinates. The only one left awake was Sabaku no Gaara, insomniac that he was. He sat within the dwindling light of the dieing campfire, away from the sleepers. Over the last couple of missions the mixed team had been together, Gaara had become something like the unofficial night sentinel.

Gaara watched as his sand moved stealthily over the sprawled and snoring form of Uzumaki Naruto. He dared not let the sand move quickly, lest he wake the boy. But at last, Gaara sensed his sand close over the prize, and carefully, ever so slowly, he pulled it out of Naruto's loose embrace. The slumbering ninja did not wake, and the sand carried the desired object to Gaara's waiting arms.

Feeling a spark of triumph in his heart, Gaara reached out and embraced the soft body of Panda-chan. Gaara did not smile, for he hardly knew how, but he felt warmth blossom in his chest as he pressed Panda-chan to his breast.

Naruto would never know that it was gone, for Gaara would be sure to return it undetected before dawn light rouged the horizon. But for now, Panda-chan would keep sentinel with the sleepless boy through the night.

Gaara noted with a small measure of contentment that Panda-chan smelled of barbeque, miso, and Uzumaki Naruto.


	2. Gaara Tells a Story

**Gaara Tells A Story**

"'YOU KILLED MY FATHER!' the girl said as she limped towards the assassin, her head was bent at a grotesque angle. 'WHERE IS MY FATHER?' She croaked, as she approached the terrified ninja...'"

Naruto whimpered; he held Panda-chan in a death-grip.

"Her hands, still caked with the mud of her own grave, wrapped around his throat..." Jiraiya continued; harsh shadows were cast upon his face by the flickering campfire.

Lee youthfully cowered next to Naruto.

"...And the ninja was never heard from again, but the girl's angry spirit was. Her form is rumored to still wander this very forest, still searching for her father..." Jiraiya finished and he grinned as Naruto and Lee clung to each other whimpering.

"That was a stupid story." Kankuro said from his lounging position next to the fire.

"It was a perfectly good story!" Sakura started up angrily, more to start a fight with the disagreeable Kankuro rather than defend Ero-sennin.

"So predictable." Kankuro sighed, whether he was referring to the story or Sakura's actions was left to speculation.

"What did you say?" Sakura clenched a fist and a vein pulsed in her forehead.

"If you have such an opinion, why don't you tell a ghost story of your own?" Negi cut in before another troublesome fight could break out.

"Naw," Kankuro waved a hand dismissively, "I don't really feel like it."

"I think we've heard enough ghost stories!" Naruto suddenly yelled, his eyes danced around the clearing as if he expected Jiraiya's ghostly inventions to come to life any moment.

"Only a baka woud be scared by a stupid story." Temari muttered.

It was then that Lee decided to jump up from behind Naruto. "I refuse to be scared by a simple story! The power of Youth will give me courage!" The more levelheaded ninja around the campfire sweatdropped as Lee struck the nice-guy pose.

Several silent moments ensued around the awkward group as Lee held his pose, somehow making his teeth glint even in the dim light of the fire.

"Well, well, doesn't anyone else have a story to share?" Jiraiya grinned his perverted cunning smile. "Lee? You have a story, ne?"

Lee's pose faltered. "Eh? Well, er... I might... there is the story of Ne—"

"No!" Negi burst out, his composure broken for a moment. He then coughed; noticing all eyes had turn to him. "Eh... I think one of our comrades from Suna should share a story, ne? It would be a sharing of cultures of sorts."

"Ossu! I certainly agree!" Lee exclaimed.

"'A sharing of cultures'? How lame." Kankuro said disinterestedly.

Temari rolled her eyes at the night sky.

"Ah! Well, I think Negi has quite a point." Jiraiya spoke up just as Sakura looked about to burst a vein. "I'm sure at least one of you has something to share!" He glanced around the campfire.

All he received in return was a circle of deadpan stares, plus a nervous twitch from the jittery Naruto.

Jiraiya was undaunted. "I know!" The pervert swung around in his seat to address their quiet comrade who sat in the shadows across the clearing. "Gaara! Come and tell us a scary story!"

The boy's back was turned to the group and for a moment it appeared that he had not reacted. Somewhat languidly, the red-haired head turned to them.

"Yosh!" Lee pumped a fist in the air. "We shall hear Gaara-san's scary story and become closer to the culture of Suna!"

"I don't know any stories." Gaara monotoned.

Jiraiya grinned. "That's okay! You can just make one up!"

Gaara blinked slowly, still staring at them over his shoulder.

"Gaara's never been much for creativity." Temari commented.

"_Artistically_ speaking, that is." Kankuro added.

"Well, at least on out of the three of you must know at least one story..." Jiraiya tried again.

"Why can't we just go to sleep now?" Sakura whined. "It's getting late and the only thing more stupid than these lame ghost stories is _arguing_ over lame ghost stories."

"For once, I agree with Haruno." Kankuro pointed out.

"Ehhh? But our mission—"

"We aren't even on an official mission!" An enraged Sakura cut off Jiraiya.

"I'll tell a story." A chilling voice said.

Naruto screamed.

Naruto was known for surprising people. Gaara was also very adept at this, though the surprise more often entailed scaring the shit out of people.

The Tanuki host's countenance remained stoic as those around the campfire recovered from their respective heart attacks. Jiraiya turned slowly to stare at the boy who had so silently crept up behind him. "What was that you were saying?"

Gaara seemed to deem that a rhetorical question as he took a seat in the empty space between Jiraiya and Naruto.

"Yosh!" Lee sat down for the first time in five minutes. "All stories contain the essence of Youth!"

Kankuro, Temari, and Sakura groaned tiredly.

Several minutes later the circle around the campfire still sat in silence as they stared at the redhead in their midst who sat with arms and legs crossed, his eyes closed in contemplation.

"Ano... Gaara-san?" Lee ventured.

Anyone else would have started complaining at this point if they weren't wary of igniting Gaara's disdain.

Gaara opened his eyes. "Once upon a time... there was a panda."

Gaara's audience then performed an extraordinarily well-coordinated anime-fall.

"Was his name Panda-chan?" Naruto asked, he was the only one other than the storyteller who had been exempt from a spontaneous face-plant.

Gaara paused for another of his long drawn out moments. "I... suppose."

As the rest of the ninja recovered from their previous surprise, they sweatdropped, they remembered Temari and Kankuro's comment on Gaara's creativity.

"So..." Jiraiya wondered, "What about this Panda-chan?"

Gaara was staring blankly into the fire. "He loved cookies."

Cue simultaneous falling over.

"I think I like this story." Naruto grinned.

"One day," Gaara continued, "the Panda met—" he paused, "a badger."

"What was the badger's name?" Naruto instantly asked.

"...Badger-chan."

"Oh? I see, I see." The blonde nodded knowingly.

No need to mention that everyone else was sufficiently perturbed, and they now maintained a perpetual sweatdrop.

"Badger-chan," Gaara said, "was jealous of Panda-chan, whom always kept all the cookies to himself."

"Go on! Go on!" Naruto goaded.

"So, Badger-chan endeavored to take all of Panda-chan's cookies. Soon, Panda-chan and Badger-chan were locked in an epic battle, both fought with their lived for the sake of the cookies."

"Ohhh!" Naruto's eyes were wide and glassy. "What was the battle like?"

Gaara thought for a moment. "...Bloody. Their battle was long and bloody." He continued, "and the sounds of their struggles could be heard from miles around. Until at last..." Gaara paused.

Everyone subconsciously leaned forward.

"Panda-chan tore the badger's head from it's body."

Gaara's audience recoiled in surprise. Perhaps he _could_ tell a good scary story.

The redhead fell silent for a minute.

"And... what happened next?" Negi asked, trying not to give away that he was too intrigued.

The Sand wielder looked up. "Next?"

Everyone received a renewed sweatdrop.

"Well... next, Panda-chan proceeded to rip out the badger's intestines and created abstract art around the clearing to express his feelings."

Negi was sorry he had asked.

"Then he had a snack of his delicious chocolate chip cookies and went home to bake some more."

The ninja around the dwindling campfire shared a collective shiver under Gaara's emotionless green stare.

"Oh," Gaara added as an afterthought, "and he lived happily ever after."

There was silence around the circle of ninjas for several uncomfortable minutes.

Then Naruto suddenly grinned. "That was the best scary story ever!"

Gaara blinked.

Naruto cuddled Panda-chan the plushie against his chest with the look in his eyes of one who has just been scared shitless on a rollercoaster and liked it. "You're an awesome storyteller!"

Teal eyes moved from the coals to lock on Naruto's shadowed face. "You think?"

"Yeah! Will you tell us another?"

Everyone else promptly collapsed.

"I... suppose. I do have another idea."

"Awesome!"

Suddenly the shadowy circle of ninja around the dying campfire was naught but two lonely figures sitting in the starlight.

"Once upon a time there was a fox that loved chocolate coins..."

**A/N:** For no apparent reason I wrote this one-shot... and decided that is was too much a continuation of _A Nightly Friend_ to not put it here as a second chapter of sorts... Review! Or Gaara will tell you a story about bunnies and candy canes!!! Be afraid!


	3. Gaara Tells Another Story

**A/N: I said this would be a oneshot, then I said it'd be a twoshot... Now I've even started on another chapter after this one. I guess it's turning into a series of vignettes. Anyway, look! Gaara tells another story! Back by popular demand! ... okay, not really. No one asked for another story from Gaara. My best friend just happens to be crazier than I am and decided a story featuring "passion in the produce aisle" would be a great idea. I took one look at her request and realized that it's perfect Gaara material. Who else but Gaara, eh? I certainly wasn't about to write a story narrated by a vegetable.**

**Btw, the rating may have to be boosted with the next chapter, PG-13 at the highest. I dunno, is implied nudity and even less-implied homosexual themes okay for PG?  
**

**Disclaimer: I'm broke, so if you sue me... you can have my sister! XD Or at least my bestfriend, who prompted this particular story.** **Just don't let her near your grapes. Or any vegetables at all... In fact, don't let her near your fridge!**

**Gaara Tells _Another_ Story**

* * *

"Story time! Story time! Story time! Dattebayo!"

A silent, collective mental groan took hold of the surrounding ninja.

"No, please." Kankurou moaned, he could already feel the nightmares coming on and he wasn't even asleep yet.

"Besides, everyone is tired of ghost stories, right?" Temari glanced around, catching the general expression of approvals from her comrades. "So, by the majority, no scary stories tonight."

"Awww..." Naruto whined.

"But what about bring together the cultures of —" Lee choked as his face was promptly and anonymously shoved in the dirt.

"I think we've had enough culture for a week." Negi commented, looking innocent.

"But Panda-chan and I were looking forward to—"

"You're outvoted, Naruto!" snapped Sakura. "Stop whining!"

"Two aisled, both alike in dignity, in the fair providence of SuperMart..."

The ninja around the now-familiar campfire looked askance at the redhead next to the Panda-cuddling Naruto.

"Gaara-san! Do you have a story to tell?" Lee braced himself with a brave face.

"Gaara, we've decided not to tell any more scary stories tonight." Temari heroically hazarded the boy's wrath.

The redhead barely glanced at his sister out of the corner of his eye. "Two lovers, separated by distance, would come together under darkness and fill the produce aisles with their passion, away from the eyes of others."

"Yay!"

Everyone glared at the hyperactive blonde.

Jiraiya perked up from not paying attention. "Oh? Could it be a romance story you're about to tell?"

Gaara lazily shrugged one shoulder.

"Romance?" perplexed Naruto.

One, Lettuce-teme, loved by all but bland and tasteless. The other, Eggplant-chan, unorthodox but lively, was disliked by many for its unusual taste." Gaara deliberated.

Jiraiya sweatdropped. "Vegetables?"

"Eggplant-chan was lonely, and admired Lettuce-teme for its strength. So, when Lettuce-teme displayed affection for the lonely Eggplant-chan, it was instantly infatuated. Their love was fiery and fast-paced and filled with passionate sex."

Kankurou choked and Negi covered his eyes. Jiraiya, ultimate pervert that he was, had trouble picturing a head of lettuce and an eggplant participating in intercourse.

"Their love was a secret from the world, an affair sacred and private. But there was one who saw it all, and scowled upon it." Gaara continued as he began to pick up momentum.

"That one had seen Eggplant-chan's loneliness from afar and understood all its pain. That one was named Mushroom-san."

Naruto perked up. "Like in mushroom ramen?" He remembered that day's lunch.

"But when Mushroom-san saw Eggplant-chan with Lettuce-teme he—" Gaara paused. "_It_ became enraged with jealousy. Mushroom-san felt that it was the only one who could understand Eggplant-chan and make Eggplant-chan happy. But it seemed Eggplant-chan was content with Lettuce-teme, so Mushroom-san retreated into anonymous obscurity."

Kankurou let his head fall into his hands in despair. His little brother seemed to redefine the meaning of being 'emotionally disturbed.'

"But soon, as Mushroom-san continued to observe, it saw that even though Eggplant-chan loved its partner, Lettuce-teme did not love it back. For Lettuce-teme was really mean and avaricious."

Naruto gasped dramatically.

"So, Mushroom-san killed him."

Negi rubbed his temples with a suffering sigh. "Well, I didn't see _that_ coming." mumbled he.

"But wouldn't Eggplant-chan find it rude that a stranger would just kill its lover like that, with or without good intentions?" Lee wondered.

Gaara blinked slowly. That factor probably hadn't occurred to him. Not that anyone could tell from his face. "And when Eggplant-chan saw Mushroom-san's passion for him he couldn't help but to fall in love again. Thus, Eggplant-chan and Mushroom-san lived happily ever after and had mad hot sex every night that was way better than Lettuce-teme's." Gaara amended.

Sakura leaned over to whisper in the ear of her sole fellow kunoichi in the group. "Where does he come up with this weirdness?"

Temari looked chagrinned. "Do you have to ask? He's basically the epitome of weirdness."

Other than the girls' whispering silence reigned around the campfire. Even Naruto seemed reasonably speechless, but that was probably because he was more stupid than stupefied.

Eventually, Jiraiya coughed not-so-discreetly to break the uncomfortable silence. "Sooo... Gaara, are the characters in your story based on real people?"

"Yes." he said simply.

"You're Mushroom-san, aren't you?" Kankurou slumped when Gaara nodded to his question.

"How did you know?" Lee gushed, as a clue Lee did not have.

Kankurou gave him a lidded look. "A lucky guess."

Naruto chuckled into Panda-chan's fur, making the first noise he had made in two full minutes. It was a record for the day. "Who were Lettuce-teme and Eggplant-chan, then?"

Gaara turned his head slightly to give the blonde a blank stare before shrugging.

Negi remained outwardly stoic but raised a mental eyebrow. For Negi saw all, and he was sure Naruto was attempting to be flirtatious with the redhead right there.

"Aww, you can tell meeee, Gaara-chyan!" Naruto waved Panda-chan in the psycho nin's face.

Gaara twitched. Kankurou wondered when his little brother would snap from being addressed with the feminine nickname, having endured it for almost a week now.

"Well!" Jiraiya clapped his hands and rubbed them together as he stood up. "I think that's enough fun for me. I'm off to bed!"

"Yeah."

"See you in the morning."

"Hn."

"Yosh! Have dreams full of YOUTH, Sakura-chan!"

"Oh, _shut_ up, you're like a bloody squirrel on crack."

It became quiet again around the campfire. "Hm... how come we're always the two left behind?" Naruto wondered after everyone had left.

Gaara shrugged.

"Ne, Gaara-chan!"

The Sand-nin raised an invisible eyebrow which translated to, "Yes?"

"Tell me another story!"

Gaara seemed to think about that for a moment. "No."

"What? Why nooo-ot?"

"I'm out of ideas."

"Aww... But I love your stories, I always understand them!"

Gaara wondered if he should take that as a testament to his poor story telling skills. But he didn't care, so he didn't. "Naruto,"

"Hm?" The blonde came to attention, rubbing a fist at a drooping eyelid. "What is it, Gaara-chan?"

"Stop calling me Gaara-chan."

Naruto pouted. "Aww... pwease?"

Gaara stared at him, unyielding.

The blonde's shoulders slumped. "Fine, fine, you're a meanie... _Sandypants_."

Gaara twitched.


	4. Just Think of Somethin' Sexy

**A/N: Okay... the previous shorts were mostly fluff... this, as compared to those, is pure crack. Heh...**

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, there would be more scenes like the one below. (That means lots and lots of gratuitous boy-love!)  
**

**Just Think of Somethin' Sexy**

* * *

"Okay, guys, this is easy, trust me. All you gotta do is—" 

"It's just a henge. I've known how to do a henge since the Academy."

"It's not just a henge! There's a trick to it!"

"What? You learned Kage bunshin instead of a regular bunshin no jutsu because you couldn't do it. Are you telling me you couldn't do henge either so you learned, what? _Kage_ henge? Is there such a thing?" Neji snapped back skeptically.

"No! Agh," Naruto threw his hands up in exasperation. "Just watch, okay? You can use your Byakku-bun thing to check it out!" The blonde made a simple seal. "Oroike no jutsu!"

Neji frowned, studying the new Naruto with the veins in his temples pulsing. "All you did was take a henge, pour four times the chakra it need into it, and then super-condense it so it's hard to tell the difference between the modified body's chakra signature and the normal body's."

Naruto blinked and scratched behind a blonde pigtail, perplexed at the technicality of Neji's vocabulary. "Yeah! See? It's better than a henge!"

The usually taciturn redhead spectating the argument chose that moment to choose a side. "I don't believe simply pouring more chakra into an already-existing technique makes a new technique, just a more powerful one."

The pigtailed nude blew a raspberry at him. "What do you know?"

Neji sighed. "No matter what the form, a simple henge can't with a battle on its own."

_Pop!_ And Naruto was himself again, clothes and all, glaring at the pale-eyed ninja. "Yeah? You want me to prove it to ya?"

"I've seen him take down Jiraiya with it." Gaara cut in, he was growing tired of this argument.

"Jiraiya's different." Neji groused.

"Yeah? What about Iruka-sensei?"

Neji looked skeptical. "You've taken out Iruka with a technique like that?"

"He went out like a light! And the closet pervert Ebisu guy, too! And the Sandaime!"

"I doubt that."

Naruto bristled.

"Just tell us how to do it, already. We'll never complete the mission at this rate." Gaara placated.

Naruto hmphed. "Fine, you saw the seal? Yeah, it may _look_ like a henge, but it's all about the mindset." He nodded, pausing dramatically. "It's all about _becoming you fantasy_. Just think of something really sexy, and _become_ sexy."

"That sounds the same as a henge to me."

"Fantasy! _Sexy_ fantasy! Those are the key words here!"

Gaara sighed. "Stop arguing, it's not getting us anywhere."

Neji sniffed indignantly. "Fine, let's do this so we can get on with the mission already."

Gaara and Neji brought their hands together. "Oroike no jutsu!"

Naruto blinked. "Negi! You baka, you're the same only naked! I don't need to see that!"

The Hyuuga crossed his arms proudly, unperturbed by the breeze. "You said to become sexy. I _am_ sexy."

Naruto twitched and glanced at what Gaara had achieved. "Ehhh? Wh-whaaaaat?"

Neji turned, sweatdropping. "Great, now I'm scarred for life."

"What? What? You're me!" Naruto was uncomprehending.

Gaara peered at him stoically out of the whiskered face.

Naruto took a deep breath to calm himself. "Okay, okay, I'm sexy, I know that." He grinned half-heartedly. "Apparently, I left something out. When I say 'sexy fantasy,' I mean _sexy girl_. Like a girl you'd be really attracted to, yeah? Y'know, like a dream girl."

Neji snorted. "You couldn't have said that sooner?"

Naruto scowled at him. "Shut up and just get it right, smartass."

Another 'hmph' and Neji raised his hands to do the seal again. "Oroike no jutsu!"

Naruto raised his eyebrows and looked Neji's new form up and down as the smoke cleared. "Better. Great jugs by the way, just try a face that's not _exactly like yours_. I realize you're already very feminine, but the goal is disguise here."

Neji bristled.

The blonde then turned to raise an eyebrow at Gaara. "Uh-huh, very funny, Gaara. I realize you're still developing your sense of humor, but even you should know that the same joke won't work twice."

"But I'm a girl." Gaara explained, pointing down.

Naruto slapped a hand over his eyes. He was going to have nightmares about this moment, he just knew it. "Feminine, Gaara! Think feminine! Add some boobs and curves! And lose the whisker marks!"

Gaara frowned. "But that's not sexy."

Naruto and Neji simultaneously face-planted.


	5. The Power of Suggestion

**A/N: Okay, I can't deny it anymore. I'm a NaruGaa shipper, and this series of drabbles is most definitely leaning towards yaoi. So... yeah. Heh, enjoy the following suggestive short.**

**The Power of Suggestion**

* * *

"And then," Naruto grinned as he breathed on Gaara's sensitive ear. "I'll come at you from behind..."

Gaara resisted the urge to squirm away from the close warmth of Naruto's body.

"And you'd have to be very careful not to make a sound, even though it'll be _sooo_ hard to resist... or we'll be found out. But don't worry," Naruto caressed the smaller boy's shoulder reassuringly. "I'll be there to cover you. I'll be _all over_ you."

Gaara swallowed. "A-and then?"

Unusually sharp canines flashed as his smile widened. "And then... I'll take you down. Just you and me where no one else can see...but don't worry, Gaara, because you'll be under me, and I'll take care of you. But you better stay on your toes, or you'll get smacked."

The redhead twitched and crossed his arms, willing his eyes to look anywhere but at the ninja leaning over him. If he was any closer Gaara would be able to feel the hard outline of his well-developed chest against his back. Gaara immediately blushed at the memories that thought brought up. Thank god for the sand armor that covered the flush, but _damn_ onsens and their male public baths and his brother for his convincing him to join.

"And you'll be aroused as I take you through twists and turns. And you're wanting... _wanting_, but not yet, not yet, even though the teasing, the _anticipation_, is driving you insane... But finally, we'll be ready, and you'll be so hot, sweaty... breathless even," continued Naruto in his huskiest voice. "From all that _friction_ as we tumble in the dark. But that was just the foreplay. Now, it's time for the real game."

Gaara was sure it was just his imagination that he felt a hand ghosting over his thigh. After all, he was encased in sand, and it would often shift over his skin when Shukaku was restless.

"The _penetration_," Naruto hissed, taking gleeful notice as Gaara tensed imperceptibly. "This would be the first time. So we'll have to be careful... we'll take it slow, and oh-so gentle... and you know I will be. You'll be overwhelmed with all that new sensation... and the _pleasure._" Naruto moaned out the last word.

Gaara felt his heart quicken as he had to swallow back an answering gasp of his own.

"It'll be so _hard_ to resist... It'll _sear_ you from the _inside_... all that passion, taking you over... you've given in and you can't hold it in any longer. Unleash it all, let me _hear_ you, _feel_ you, and we'll go down, down, you and me together... as one." Naruto smirked, the clouded vagueness of his green eyes informing him that he had the redhead completely hooked. "And as you ride out all that passion... I'll be over you, _around _you, _inside you_... I'll never leave you again. And at last... as we reach the peak... we'll go over together... hot, wet, _slipping and sliding_... we'll claim the prize, the gratification..."

Naruto grinned, his senses were greater than many of his comrades would like to argue, and up this close he could hear the accelerated heartbeat of his flustered Sand-nin.

Gaara took a shaky breath. Damn his rampant imagination.

"By the way," Naruto pressed something into the hand underneath Gaara's crossed arms. He leaned in even closer and Gaara shuddered as his lips brushed the cartilage of his ear. "Here's the key to the main archives."

Startled out of the haze of his thoughts, Gaara blinked at the innocent silver key in his palm. The mission, he remembered. Gaara blushed more deeply underneath his sand as he felt shame for letting his thoughts digress into such delectable fantasies when he was supposed to be listening to the mission plan that Naruto was giving him.

Sabaku no Gaara yelped as Naruto literally slapped him out of his thoughts.

"Well? Did you get all that?"

Gaara nodded automatically. He wasn't even sure if he had correctly heard all of what Naruto had been saying, but he refused to ask for a repeat.

The blonde stifled a chuckle as he turned away. "Well, come on then, the sun is setting."

Gaara rubbed his smarting behind as he followed, a crimson flush hidden beneath the layer of sand on his cheeks.

Naruto grinned. It was a well-known fact that Naruto was a very annoying person. He loved annoying people; it was practically part of his way of the ninja. It was always the challenges that gave him the biggest thrill. Making Sasuke boil with rage, or Sabaku no Gaara twitch never ceased to amuse him. But there was another thing that could be just as, if no more entertaining than ticking people off.

Uzumaki Naruto loved to make those pretty boys blush.


	6. Dreams

** A/N: I've actually had this in my notebook since... two months ago? Whoopsie, sorry about that. This is a very busy time of year for me, what with finals and final projects and research papers and... among other things. I even have the next chapter of my other story, _Behind the Sun_, all ready. I just need time to type it up.**

**Anyways, enjoy this character-sketch-turned-into-comedic-material-for-the-sake-of-foreshadowing-thing. Yeah.  
**

**:Dreams:**

* * *

Sabaku no Gaara did not sleep. He did not because he could not, for the fear of losing everything that he fought for each waking moment. 

Physical pain was an anomaly for him. The sand shielded him from any threat, even against his will. But even so, there was the rare instance when the sand could not fully protect him and some aggressor broke through his boundaries. And then Gaara found that he could bruise and bleed just like any other. That knowledge satisfied, at least partially, the childish hope that he was human after all, maybe even normal. He did not believe that he'd ever feel normal or completely human, not with Shukaku always whispering in the back of his mind. But that didn't stop him from craving it, wishing he could understand why and how he was different. Some part of him believed that if he knew exactly what he was missing it would somehow complete him, and he could dismiss it and be at peace.

Gaara, condemned to a lifetime of insomnia, always felt the loneliest in the night. During the day the sun warmed him and the noise and excitement of life drowned out the murmurings of his demon, if he was lucky. But the night was cold and quiet, and the people around him were motionless as they snored into their pillows. His thoughts slowed as he sunk into the meditative stupor that he considered a poor substitute for sleep. He preferred solitude in the dark, not necessarily because he wanted to be alone, for he was never alone, but because it was easier to ignore Shukaku when there wasn't a body nearby that the demon could specifically target.

Therefore, it wasn't often that Gaara had a chance to observe people in slumber, at least not up close. He had always been curious, and when he was a child he had wondered if it was like dying— for his young mind had equated the stillness of sleep with that of death. But that was before he had seen death.

Before he had killed.

He had heard of dreams. Of nightmares. Gaara wondered what it was like to dream, or if he himself could dream at all. If he could dream, would that make him human? What would he dream about? Would Gaara dream pleasant dreams, like the ones his brother was so reluctant to leave each morning and thus complained when Temari kicked him out of bed? Or would his sleep be filled with the same terror that he feared everyday? Gaara decided he wouldn't be all that surprised to find out that even if he could dream, he would never dream a good dream.

Snort. Mumble. Three feet away, Kankurou rolled over.

Gaara couldn't decide if knowing he could dream would make him feel normal.

Uzumaki scratched his nose.

Gaara wondered what the fellow _Jinchuuriki_ dreamed about. Did he dream happy dreams?

"Whatch'u starin' at?"

Gaara flinched. He had been found out!

Naruto rolled onto his back, smacking his lips. "Crazy pandas..."

He stared at the slumbering nin, stock still, until he was sure the blonde still slept.

Gaara rubbed the soft plush of Panda-chan against his cheek and wondered if all _Jinchuuriki_ dreamed of pandas. If that was so, Gaara supposed it was better than blood and gore procured by the killing intent of his resident _bijuu_.

* * *

"Ohayo!" 

"Mmrgh."

"What's for breakfast?"

Gaara wasn't all that partial to mornings, it was just the time of day when everyone was still groggy with sleep— and grouchier than usual. But it was also when Temari brewed him his _own_ pot of coffee. And _no one_ else could have any.

So, clutching his steaming mug of life's sweetest and most revitalizing nectar and keeping a watcher's eye on his coffee pot, Gaara was sufficiently placated in the mornings. Despite the fact that Kankurou spoke too loudly in a vocabulary consisting entirely of grunts and moans, and that Lee was _way_ too happy this early, and that Naruto had developed a habit of ruffling his hair and mumbling, eyes closed and gopher hat askew, in his face an "Ohayo," and whatever horribly annoying and degenerate nickname he had come up with most recently with his stale morning breath. Yes, as long as Gaara had his coffee and no one interrupted him from experiencing the wonders of said drink, he was happy. Or at least as close to happy as a half-crazed insomniac with a bloodthirsty demon in his head and a tragic past full of murder and betrayal and shredded teddy bears behind him could be.

"Can we have pancakes?"

"Raaaaaameeeeeen..."

"Baka, all we have are ninja rations!"

"Aww..."

"Ramen?"

"We had ramen last night! Be glad with your cold jerky!"

"Listen! The birds chirp so BEAUTIFULLY!!! This morning is brimming with the JOY of YOUTH!!!"

Naruto stuck his tongue out as he watched Gaara pour himself his third cup of coffee. "Blech! How can you drink that junk? Ow!"

Normally one to ignore such comments, Gaara was not one to let anyone get away with insulting his favorite energy source.

"What'd you do that for'ttebayo?"

Temari, being an anomaly of the human race, was more awake than most this early. "Gaara loves his precious coffee, so watch it, brat." The again, she was grouchy all the time, so it was hard to tell the difference.

"Tch." Naruto rubbed the newest bump on his head and nuzzled Panda-chan for comfort. "Well ya? You hit like a _girl_, Sandman-san!"

Gaara ignored him, Sakura and Temari, however, did not. "Narutoooo!"

"Itai!"

Kankurou snorted; Gaara continued to sip peacefully from his mug.

"Ow, ow, ow, ow! What was that for, huh?"

"Baka!"

Naruto blew a raspberry at the girls. "Geez! I wasn't even _lookin'_ at you! What got you so mad, huh? Give a guy a—" he paused suddenly. "Eh?" he brought Panda-chan, whom he had seated on his shoulder, to his nose. "Nani? Panda-chan you smell weird!"

Nobody seemed to find the sudden change in subject a surprise, no matter how early it was. Naruto was notorious for his incredibly short attention span.

The boy snuffled at the plushie's fur for a moment before sniffing the air. "It's like... it's like..."

Gaara tensed as Naruto leant over and took a big whiff of his shoulder.

"Gaara...?" Naruto frowned, sniffing Panda-chan again to compare the scents.

"Naruto, what did you dream about last night?" Gaara blurted out the first thing that came to mind, anything to divert the blonde's attention. The last thing he needed was for everyone to find out he cuddled a panda plushie at night. Much less Naruto's panda plushie.

"Eh?" Naruto blinked at him before breaking out into a huge foxy grin. Gaara happened to know that the boy loved it whenever someone showed any interest in his personal life. How could he pass up the attention? "My dream? Why do you ask, Sandman-san?"

Gaara shrugged and sipped his coffee. "Was it about pandas?" The redhead watched in bemusement as Naruto's eyes widened suddenly in surprise and... fear?

"P-panda? What makes you think that? Was I talking in my sleep?"

"Yes," he drawled. Perhaps it had been impolite of him to overhear Naruto's sleep talk? He wasn't exactly an expert on sleep etiquette, after all.

"Eh... W-what did I say?"

Gaara shrugged. "Mumblings mostly."

"Demo... demo... all you heard was _panda_, right?"

Gaara frowned at him. "Among other things..."

Naruto seemed to panic and he twisted in his seat frantically. "Etou... ah... Don't jump to conclusions! It was a perfectly innocent dream!"

All movement paused around the campfire as everyone stared at Naruto's sudden outburst.

"What are you talking about, Naruto?"

Gaara observed that the blonde was lightly flushed, that turned into a full-fledged crimson blush when Neji commented, "Should I be surprised if you're having inappropriate dreams about pandas?"

"No!" Naruto fired back.

"So you _do_ have a panda fetish?" snickered Kankurou.

"Eww... beastiality!"

"N-no! That's not what I meant!"

"Naruto, that's sick!"

Gaara frowned, cocking his head to the side.

"Naruto! Do you really think of pandas that way?"

"NO!" the boy exploded, jumping up out of his seat. "I wasn't even dreaming about pandas! It was _Gaara_, okay? Gaara! And..." Naruto started to slow down as he realized what he had just let loose. "And... I... call him Panda... chan... in my head sometimes." He collapsed back into his seat, twisting his hands in his lap sheepishly.

Temari suddenly seemed much less amused. "So... you're telling me you're having inappropriate thoughts about _my_ little brother?"

Kankurou guffawed when Temari put that concept into words. He slapped a hand to his mouth to muffle his laughs when his sister sent him a dangerous look.

"No! Damn it, it's not like that!"

Gaara stared into the opaque, bitter depths of his coffee, when he thought about Naruto dreaming of _him_, inappropriate or not... it felt kind of weird. Awkward kind of weird.

"Wait, wait! Naruto, are you _gay_?"

The set upon Uzumaki spluttered. "What? I— I— no! Gah! What's wrong with having a perfectly normal dream about a friend, huh? 'Cuz that's all it was'ttebayo!"

"Riiiight..."

"Really! Damn it!"

Gaara was feeling confused by all of this. "Then... what happened?"

Naruto, against all logic, reddened beyond even the deepest crimson. "Uh... um... it was just... we ate ramen together!"

Stare.

"Now that figures," Kankurou sniggered, "that you would have a ramen kink."

Naruto looked scandalized. "For your information, I would _never_ have sex with ramen! It would be a huge waste of food!"

"You dreamed about doing the nasty with me brother?" Temari's voice tolled impending doom.

"What? No, I—"

"You sicko!"

"You really are gay!"

"So, you're saying you _want_ to smex up my sociopathic little brother?"

"Ew! Now I think I understand your fascination with Sasuke-kun! You stay away from him, you kiss-stealing freak!"

"Gaaah!" Naruto howled to drown out the voices; he clutched his head and tugged at his hair. "Stop it! Stop it! Damn it! I can't help it if Gaara looks sexy when he slurps ramen!"

A collective pause interrupted the previous cacophony.

Gaara was glad he hadn't chosen that moment to take a sip of coffee, or he feared he would have choked on it.

"Eh... um..." Naruto faltered. "Y'know when he... um... pulls the noodles into his mouth... and it's all... sensual-like..." He scratched his neck and glanced nervously at the redhead to his left. "Heh... um... not that'd I'd ever... you know..." he apologized.

"That's..." Kankurou fumbled for words. "really weird."

Gaara frowned into his coffee. "I thought it was odd... that you always stare at me when I eat."

Naruto winced. "Heh, heh... heh, yeah. Um... what can I say? Just by looking at you I can tell you're a natural with your tongue!"

"NARUTOOOO-OO!"

_THWUMP!_

... And it wasn't until the next week before Naruto could walk straight again.

And Gaara decided that if Naruto dreamed of him, he wouldn't be displeased if he dreamed of Naruto.

If he could dream, that is.


	7. What's That, Shukaku?

A/N: OMFG. Inspired by adorable hand puppets that I can't afford.

Warnings: Serious crack.

::What's That, Shukaku?::

* * *

Kankurou gaped in awe at the audacity; Temari was turning cherry with the effort to suppress her oncoming giggle fit. And in an amazing display of emotion, Gaara's eyebrow twitched. 

With Naruto around, such familiar scenes were becoming obscenely common.

"...What is it?"

The blonde grinned. "I'm glad you asked." His hands fiddled for a minute, until one was gloved with the fluffy representation of a certain tanuki demon. "It's Shukaku! In puppet form!"

Kankurou snorted, but kept a close eye on his volatile little brother's reaction. Temari nearly choked trying not to laugh.

Gaara stared. "Why?"

Naruto giggled, and hopped from foot to foot. "Well... y'know how Shukaku tries to talk through you sometimes? Well, I thought that'd be terribly inconvenient, y'know? Y'know, one body, two dudes inside. You can only look like one at a time, right? Otherwise that's just ugly.

So... now Shukaku can have a little body of his own—'dattebayo!"

Gaara blinked. "You want to seal Shukaku in a puppet?"

"Tch— no! See, see, look! This is how it works—" Naruto shoved his puppeted hand in the unflinching redhead's face. "Ya put the puppet on your hand, so when Shukaku wants to talk, you can animate it— like this— so it looks like a miniature Shukaku is talking to ya!" All the while, Naruto's fingers worked the puppet in a little dancing diatribe. "It'll totally fix the problem'dattebayo!"

Gaara failed to see that there was a problem at all, and he thought the puppet would be a ludicrous solution to any problem. But Shukaku was already warming to the idea, after all, what all-powerful demon could resist any adorable effigy of itself?

He was _compelled_ to take the puppet.

Gaara's siblings' mouths fell open in shock as Naruto bounced giddily on the balls of his feet.

Gaara had put the puppet on his hand.

"So? So? Try it out!"

Gaara frowned. He didn't think what Shukaku was saying in his head was exactly appropriate to come out of his own mouth. So he amended it a little. (_'Hey,_ he back-talked that whiny demon, _'who's hand controls the puppet, huh?'_)

"Grr," Gaara said, "I'm Shukaku."

Naruto giggled, completely ecstatic like only the childish could be.

"Why the hell is this thing so fluffy and soft?" he had deepened his voice, roughening it to imitate the demon's brazen quality. "I am the demon of the sand, and no demon of the sand is fluffy and soft! I should be coarse and mean! Grr, grr!"

Naruto laughed. "I knew it! It works perfectly!"

Needless to say, that was not what Shukaku meant to say. Gaara smirked as the demon cursed him off repeatedly.

'_Well, I certainly can't say that.'_

Shukaku cursed some more.

"Hello, Shu-chan!" A high-pitched voice greeted the puppet. "I'm Panda-chan!" Said plushie was procured from its warm place peeking out of Naruto's collar. Gaara scowled at it, jealous.

But Shukaku had something even more colorful to say. "Hey, there, sexy," Gaara made a clicking noise in his throat that he didn't know he could do, and the puppet gestured, stud-like. "Why don't you come over here and stroke my adorable, fluffy tail." Gaara winced inside, maybe he should have cut that part out completely when he translated and censored Shukaku's voice in his head.

But Panda-chan was being coy; and sauntered right up to the bold hand puppet. "Well, don't you think you're hot stuff. For a fat ass."

Shukaku gasped; and the puppet covered its mouth, righteously offended. "I'm not fat! It's all the sand!"

Panda-chan giggled. "Aw! Poor little thing, did all the big, mean bijuu make fun of you on the playground 'cuz you're fat?"

"Why you—"

"But don't worry," Panda-chan patted the back of Gaara's hand, in other words, Shu-chan's ass. "I think you're cute. That's one _big_, fluffy tail ya got there."

Shukaku was instantly gratified, all indignation forgotten. "Ya wanna touch it?"

"Oh boy, I do! Shu-chan— oh my! Sexy, sexy— Humpa! Humpa!"

Kankurou watched, stupefied, the gratuitous puppet-plushie sex that ensued. Temari had to turn away, riffling through her pockets, to find a tissue to staunch her presumable nosebleed.

Needless to say, after Naruto had humped Gaara's hand with a plushie, Gaara decided he liked hand puppets.


End file.
